Ministry of Awqaf & Islamic Affairs :: Dr. Suad Al-Besher: wisdom, knowledge, honesty, tolerance, truthfulness, firmness and love are the characteristics of the successful educator
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Dr. Suad Al-Besher: wisdom, knowledge, honesty, tolerance, truthfulness, firmness and love are the characteristics of the successful educator

The characteristics of the successful

educator's personality and behaviors, according to the second part of the study "The parents' role in implanting positive values ​​in children," by the professor of psychology at the College of Education in the Public Authority for Applied Education Dr. Suad Al-Beshr must be based on  wisdom, knowledge, honesty, tolerance, truthfulness, firmness, and love, in addition to enjoying kindness so as to the education can produce its fruit and provide the society with good citizens who are able to give and sacrifice for the service of religion and homeland.
Wisdom –according to the current study- is one of the successful educational methods for educating the children. Allah the Almighty says in the Holy Quran (Invite to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and good advice). wisdom means good saying, Allah's fear, understanding about Allah , the mind or what the mind judges as authentic. Others say wisdom is a light that differentiates between inspiration and obsession, the speed of the correct answer. It is also using the mind, controlling the emotion  and not  contradicting now and then. It also could mean controlling the educational process and compromising between the two parents upon moderate Islamic education and using the guidance in the appropriate situation and time so that wisdom can reach the children in an accessible, understandable and effective manner. For example, is not wisely we beat our children to pray at the age of four.
Honesty is one of Islam's lofty morals, one of its bases and a great enjoined duty carried by Man. Dr. Al-Beshr says honesty is a moral virtue urged by Islam and the Prophet (peace be upon him) gave us a great parable, where he was known as Al-Sadek al-Amin (the Trustworthy). The prophet made it a sign of faith and one's good character. The prophet (peace be upon him) said  “There is no faith for the one who has no trust, and there is no religion for the one who does not fulfill his promises.” He (the prophet) consolidated the honest concept in his nation, meaning and behavior, to protect the property in its owner's absence, protecting the soul against cheating in the exam and protecting others' deposits. Thus consolidating these values in the children's hearts ensures their interaction with others sincerely loyally and transparently. The prophet (peace be upon him) said " All of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards". Those who carry this trust, committed themselves with it outwardly and inwardly, bear the burden of responsibility for educating their children, provide them with means of comfort are good example for them in ethics, advice and guidance .

Patience is a worship that an educator must have. Allah the Almighty said in the Holy Quran (and be patient on what happened to you) and the prophet (peace be upon him said in Hadith " The believer who mixes with people and bears their annoyance with patience will have a greater reward than the one who does not mix with people and does not put up with their annoyance.” The patience value is one of the great values that implants in the soul the idea of avoiding the lust and getting used not to be rash in getting what is wanted. Patience increases the individual with dignity, wisdom and insight in judging the issues.
Parents must implant tolerance value in their children, as the current study reveals. It means forgiving those who err. This value is a moral virtue and a triumph to the spirit of goodness and morality in the human soul upon the spirit of evil against responding to the Satan temptations. Tolerance is the basis of dealing, which is supposed to govern people's relationship with each other, but insisting to refuse tolerance is an insistence on harming oneself before harming the others, and an insistence of personal suffering in facing a heart full of painful memories about others. We need forgiveness from ourselves and the others. A lot of people suffer form their pervious mistakes and continue to carry them. Therefore, they must be tolerant with themseles and able to forget the past mistakes.
Al-Beshr indicated that the education method performed by the family has its negative and positive reflections upon tolerance acquisition behavior by the child. She stressed the necessity that our homes should resemble open dialogue forums to all the family members. We must encourage our children to accept the other's opinion through accepting their views. Allah the Almighty says in the Holy Quran: (If ye do good, ye do good for your own souls, and if ye do evil, it is for them (in like manner). Parents can consolidate tolerance through the language of communication with children. They should encourage them adopt it and practise it through the situations and interaction with them.
The researcher stated that the knowledge of the educator with legitimate knowledge is one of the most important tools and the basics of education because he will not be able to teach his children the religious affairs, if he does not know them. Besides the legitimate culture, the educator must have a part of reality jurisprudence so that he can provide his children with sound education. He also needs to learn the methods of Islamic education and study childhood world because each stage has its own properties, physical and psychological aptitudes. According to these aptitudes the educator selects the means of implanting the doctrine, values ​​and the protection of sound instinct. He also needs to know the destructive sets and the destructive currents of thought. He should know the legitimate violations that are spreading among the youth and adolescents. He also should be able to confront them and educate the children upon the Islamic morals.
Regarding the Truthfulness, Dr. Al-Beshr believes that it is a commitment to the truth in word and deed. The trustworthy individual is far from hypocrisy in the worships and immorality in the transactions. He is also far from unfulfilling his promises and witnessing false testimonies. He does not know a way to betrayal. A trustworthy father with himself, his children, relatives and at work is considered a clear, transparent and reliable man. Such individual is characterized with a noble character, Allah has commanded us to follow it. Allah the Almighty has described Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) as the best individual to Allah's Messenger (peace be upon). The trustworthy father must adhere to this quality and make it his motto in dealings with his children.
Firmness is the pillar of education. The firm individual is that the one who puts things in their appropriate place. He is not tolerate at severe situations and is not firm at soft and gentle situations. Firmness is necessary quality for educating a strong generation that is able to encounter the crises, strong in the face of challenges, with high enthusiasm and sublime goal. Firm father must oblige his children to preserve their religion and minds. He must keep them away from their desires that are harmful to their religion and life and oblige them to observe the customs and traditions in their society.
Dr. Al-Beshr added that love is always being repeated on many parents' tongues towards with their children. When a father berates his son for doing something he says I did so because I love you. When the child does something good, the father says to him I love you. When some parents beat their children and you ask them why, they will say we did so because we love them. On considering these situations, we notice the extent of mixed concepts and the missing of true love meaning.
Luqman's Story
Dr. Al-Beshr reviewed the story of Luqman and its role in implanting the values ​​in children. She said, the Holy Quran has narrated stories not for entertainment, but to be examples. These stories have great wisdoms and lofty goals. These stories include morals such as what refine the souls, beautify the customs and spread wisdom and literature by using different educational methods, such as dialogue and wisdom and using the method of preaching and advice and intimidation and warning methods.
Dr. Al-Beshr added that the Luqman implanted important values ​​in his son's soul. He tried to consolidate them by an effective model and oriented conduct . Some of his commandments are:
1-      Parents' obedience (And We have enjoined upon man concerning his partners - His mother beareth him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years - Give thanks unto Me and unto thy parents. Unto Me is the journeying) . Family and parents' obedience is the first bond after the doctrine's bond. Raising its status comes on the grounds that the parents are naturally pushed to care for their children and sacrifise with all they possess for their care, but the children quickly forget all these. Hence comes in Allah's commandment of parents' obedience  as a duty after Allah's worship and prevention of polytheism. Luqman advised his son with parents' obedience and to be kind to them, soft sayings, gentle words, nice deed, supporting them and avoid humiliating them with word or deed.
2-      Allah's accounting to His servant (O my dear son! Lo! though it be but the weight of a grain of mustard-seed, and though it be in a rock, or in the heavens, or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth. Lo! Allah is Subtle, Aware.) If the injustice or sin similar to a weight of grain, it does not hide upon Allah. Here the parents consolidate great value, it is Allah's observing in everything. There is nothing hidden upon Him everywhere and here comes Allah's observing in every word or deed. The child also learns (Ihsan) is exclusively the highest status of religion, its meaning is: "To worship Allah as if you see Him, and if you do not see Him, He sees you.".
3-  Prayer (O my dear son! perform pray). Allah has mentioned performing prayer, where He differentiates between those who pray and who perform it. How many Muslims who pray but they don't considered being prayed because they did not perform it. As Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) commanded by his saying, "Pray as if you have seen me pray". We know that the devil sits in all the right path of Adam's son to block them as Allah the Almighty told us in the Holy Quran (verily I shall lurk in ambush for them on Thy Right Path.) The devil meant I will spoil their good deeds either urging them not to follow Sunnah of the Prophet and neither leaving sincerity to Allah the Almighty. These are two conditions to the acceptance of deed, sincerity and following-up. If one of them is missed the deed is not accepted. Luqman teaches to his son the value of prayer, reverence them and how they have physical, spiritual and psychological impact upon the individual.
4-Enjoin kindness and forbid iniquity. It's mandatory confirmed by Allah to His slaves, who leaves it ruled himself by Allah's anger and curse. Allah the Almighty said in the Holy Quran (They restrained not one another from the wickedness they did. Verily evil was that they used to do!) and Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said that when the evil is done openly and they do not repudiate it, they all become deserving of His punishment.".  Enjoin kindness and forbid iniquity is a great Islamic rite and a firm pillar of the divine society pillars is indicated by text, witnessed by history and fact. The nation nowadays needs to revive this rite and enhancing it to recover from this what hung out of dust raised by external and internal plot, which can't do that unless in the decline of Islamic concepts of  the nation and being away from its religion. There no doubt that teaching children the methods and ways of enjoining what is good among them and forbidding the evil keeps the children away from many sins and behavioral abnormalities that may they are exposed. They are without a doubt great and comprehensive value upon the good deed. One of the most important means for enjoin kindness and forbid iniquity is the meaningful word, a book and booklet, leaflet and Islamic tape.

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Ministry of Awqaf & Islamic Affairs - State of Kuwait