Ministry of Awqaf & Islamic Affairs :: Dr. Suad Al-Beshr sheds light on the moral approach in educating the children (1-2)
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Dr. Suad Al-Beshr sheds light on the moral approach in educating the children (1-2)

1-      Islamic education based upon believing in Allah and performing the worships develop good morals, self-monitoring and in children's fear from Allah  .
2-      Implanting the Islamic values ​​is through good education and parental passion through an integrated educational approach.

1-      The child is not affected only by words but also affected by his educator's behavior and the Islamic educational approach stresses the necessity to link words with deeds.
2-      Familial education in the child's life has the greatest and most important role in acquiring the child the supreme examples, morals standards and enriching his/her psychological health.
3-      Familiarizing the children with the values ​​of justice, truth and keeping away from rancor and hatred bring forth  normal and positive children.
Educating the children upon the morals, Islamic values ​​ and the virtuous deeds is a great responsibility urged by Islam. For the greatness of ethics in our lives and their status, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said "I was sent to complete good moralities". The society institutions, particularly the family, are responsible for producing a useful generation to their religion and country, armed with values ​​of integrity, strong character, sound doctrine and worship, able to earn living, useful to others and organized in their affairs. Education in our modern era is no longer a random or extemporaneous  issue but it has become relying on methods, theories and scientific arts that have been put by specialists, consultants and academics.
In this context, the professor of psychology at the College of Education, in the Public Authority for Applied Education Dr. Suad Al-Beshr has conducted a valuable study entitled "The parents' role in implanting the positive values ​​in children" where she called the parents to educate their children upon the system of balanced moral values, most prominent features of which are strength in religion, strict in flexibility, eager on learning, conviction in poverty, giving in right, obedience in compassion, jurisprudence in certainty and earning Halal money. She stressed that if the Islamic education based on believing in Allah and performing acts of worship can master the hearts of children and their souls, it will develop in them good morality, self-monitoring talent and fear of Allah.
Implanting the Islamic values
Regarding implanting the behavioral ​​and social values in the children "as a life skills," Dr. Al-Beshr emphasized that implanting the Islamic, humanitarian and social values in the hearts of our children through good education, parental passion through an integrated educational approach and specific days during the school week where the students meet out of school hours to practise the required values ​​practically, via the existence of  model and example and focus on activating the school theater's role in preparing stories about the lives of the prophet's companions (and embodying their roles for developing the required skills practically.
 
Dr. Al-Beshr considered the Islamic values ​​as an illuminating beam to the minds of human and orienting them towards the right path and the guide for the noble human treatment that adults and children need to establish governing principles for our lives and the rules of our dealings. Undoubtedly, it's a matchless treasure that nourishes our relationships and connects us with love and good. She noted that every educational approach has values that it seeks to enhancing them in the hearts of children to be a criterion for assessing and evaluating the conduct, particularly, the values ​​are wider and more comprehensive from the moral dimension because it involves other dimensions that may be social, psychological, scientific, cultural, or other dimensions that may affect the human behavior.
Professor of psychology completely resembles the values implanting process with farming process. She views the productive agriculture is affected by the type of seed (value type) and the fertile land (value holder individual) and the appropriate season to the type of seed (appropriate age) and the farmer skill (the educator's ability) and the quality of agricultural methods (appropriate of the educational methods to the case) using modern agricultural machinery (means of implanting the values). She confirmed that if the fertile land has not been grown and if the above mentioned tools are unavailable, the fertilizing wind comes then it will produce unknown plants remains in the ground eating from its goodness (fertility), eaten by the cattles or dried up and pulled out by the wind. Likewise, the son in the very young age. If he does not have a prudent educator, sublime values, educational methods and appropriate means in the right time, he will go astray and killed by free time.
The model and example
Regarding the key methods where the child can comprehend the values till they become an essence appearance in his/her life conduct. Dr. Al-Beshr tackled the model or example and concluded that Quranic verse where Allah the Almighty says (Verily in the messenger of Allah ye have a good example for him). This is a comprehensive address to all humanity. She pointed out that parents are the models and the source of values for their child ​​as the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said  "Every child is born with a true faith (i.e. to worship none but Allah Alone) but his parents convert him to Judaism or to Christianity or to Magainism." It is necessary that the model the child follows must be a good one that expresses these values. This should not be done by tongue or by calling to it only but also those values must be represented in the parent's behavior or in those the child follows the example, both parents and teachers.
The good Example educator
The study showed that the child is not affected by sayings only, but he/she is affected by his educator's behaviors. The Islamic educational approach has indicated to the issue of separating the word from deed regarding the example as in the verse (Enjoin ye righteousness upon mankind while ye yourselves forget (to practise it)? And ye are readers of the Scripture! Have ye then no sense?   Al-Bakarah surah, verse 44). The one who stand as a society model either at the doctrine level or at the familial model level must match between the words and deeds. Otherwise, he will reflect one of hypocrisy attitudes that should not be followed. In this regard, Imam Ja'far Al-Sadiq, indicated " Obey your parents and your children obey". Who is able to elicit a good behavior in his daily life, so he offers a good model and example for his children to comprehend this behavior and absorb those values even if he has forgotten to call or urge for them.
Dr. Al-Besher added that a great deal of children's behavior is acquired via observing the model or the example. This is supported by a series of experiments and researches that were conducted on the children aggressive behavior, where it was found that aggressive behavior appears in children who his parents have committed one of the aggressive behavior in front of them. The child imitates these aggressive responses with others. He also might watch a model of aggressive personal on television so he imitates him as well. In the contrary if the child witnesses a tolerant loving model, the child imitates the behavior of love and tolerance.
The child acquires - as the study indicates- a lot of values ​​and behaviors that represent those values ​​through imitation. Imitation is as an important tool in the child's growth and maturity. Through imitating the correct movements, the child learns walking and gain the linguistic skills, knowledge and accepted social behaviors, sexual pattern behavior, good health habits and others.
The child also imitates the actions of others since the first months, relying initially on the direct observation, then imitation develops by saving mental image to the act that he/she can restore later. We may watch the child has started imitating the other movements, or their sitting positions in fun an imitating way. When the child succeeds in imitating an act, he feels with great pleasure and the act becomes one of his permanent behaviors that he can use whenever he wants. There is no doubt that each skill the child acquires enables him/her to adapt properly with the surrounding society.
Reward in punishment
The study tackles the issue of reward and punishment.  Dr. Al-Besher emphasizes that this approach is used to implant values or substitute new values ​​instead of other undesired widely values by parents and educators. The parents reward their child when he/she acts a desirable behavior as performing the honesty, cooperating with friends or participating in some household chores. The parents may resort to punish the child if he/she does not practice that.
Learning theories in particular, the behavioral theories views that the impact of reward and punishment are not only restricted upon the reinforced responses or punishment but their impact includes the personality as a whole, where the general characteristics, attitudes and values are comprised. Here the Islamic educational approach confirms the need to balance between reward and punishment in educating the child and the inevitability of moderation in dealing with the child without exaggeration or negligence.
The study advises the parents to make a balance between the size of the reward and the desired behavior so as not the rewards turns into a goal the child seeks to achieve without paying attention to the acceptable behavior. They should appreciate the prizes they grant to the child, with the need to explain the meaning of the desired behavior. The child who is rewarded for his cooperation behavior with his friends, the parents should explain to him/her that this is the sound behavior. The duty requires doing that to be rewarded not only with a piece of candy but the real reward to this behavior is gaining the others' love and respect. The child who acts a certain conduct he/she acquires its character. The child who is collaborating with his friends will be called a collaborator and the child who performs the honesty will be known as the honest and the child who does not tell lie, will be called the sincere man.
The Islamic educational curriculum considers the emotional punishment is one of the influencing and effective systems to change the child's wrong behavior whether through reproof and rebuke. There is no doubt that the familial education in the child life has a great role in the child life has a great role in granting the child the supreme examples, standard ethics and enriching his/her mental health. Therefore, we emphasis upon the domination of the supreme values upon the family. In order to succeed in achieving this the parents should provide good models for their children.
Parents' care for their children makes them feel with great pleasure because the presence of the father among his children provides them with warm and emotional environment. This would also lead to support the participation concept in order to spread a healthy environment and healthy relationships among the family members. In such a climate the father will have his own effective and impressive role in helping the children to achieve the goals of sound education and developing their mental and emotional capabilities to the possible maximum extent.
The family should also care with educating the child. It should educate his/her conscience by making him/her everlasting looks at everything that is surrounded him/her from the beauty in nature. This is the parents' role in consolidating the principles of value and effective principles which help the child to build his/her integrated character in the future. Parents' role is very important in the children's lives in education and acquiring them with the good habits and implanting values.

The study calls the parents to familiarize the children to adopt attitudes of fairness and justice in all their work since their childhood because they will be the men of tomorrow and the parents of the future. Justice is one of Allah's attributes, as He is Just. With justice we can eliminate hatred, resentment and corruption. The parents should be fair among their children as well as familiarizing them from an early age upon the truth, through the sincerity of the parents who represent the model. They should implant the truth in the children's behavior from early childhood.
This was the first part of this valuable research "parents' role in implanting the positive values ​​in children," which tackled the importance of moral education and its role in sound educating the children by implanting the Islamic values ​​through education with good example and behavior. In the second part we will deal the characteristics of successful educator represented in the wisdom, knowledge, honesty, truthfulness, firmness and love.


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Ministry of Awqaf & Islamic Affairs - State of Kuwait