Ministry of Awqaf & Islamic Affairs :: Dr. Al-Qasha'n tackles the religion role in maintaining marital stabil
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Dr. Al-Qasha'n tackles the religion role in maintaining marital stabil

* Islam confirms that the strength of society can only be achieved by establishing a coherent family where  the values ​​and Allah's teachings prevail.

* Sharia has laid the foundations and standards that ensure the efficiency of the martial institution and family system.
 
* Prophetic guidance stresses the importance of the positive behavior and responsible care in enhancing the marital relationship.
 

* Islam opens wide horizons for forgiveness beside asserting the importance of not tracking pitfalls.
 
The family and  adolescence consultant and professor at the Faculty of Social Sciences in Kuwait University, Dr. Humoud Al-Qasha'n  proved in the earlier part of his study "the moderate role in religiosity of the couple in creating integration, psychological and behavioral satisfaction in the marital relationship, in "a field study" that individuals who are the most religious are the most satisfied and happy in their martial life. He shows and explains in the second part the most important reasons, purposes and Islamic literature that contribute in achieving happiness.

 

In this context, Islam states that the strength of society can only be achieved by establishing a coherent family where  the values ​​and Allah's teachings prevail and the couple confirm it through their commitment to the Islamic teachings, which differentiate between halal and haram and shows the right from wrong in that intimate humanitarian relationship and determines the rights and duties of the spouses.
 
Islam is a life style
As Islam is a religion of belief and a life style system for the individual, family, and society, Dr. Al-Qasha'n has set up a number of reasons which call the specialist Muslims in the field of ​​Social Sciences confirm the importance of Islam particularly in maintaining the martial bond stability  most important of which are as follows:
 
1-      Originality and depth of the degree of belief in Allah among the people in the Islamic societies, regardless of the degree of commitment to the religion teachings.

 

2-      The majority of people return to Allah immediately in case of having great psychological and social crises.

3-      The people's respect for the religion teachings even if they don't practice them, "the sanctity of Allah's word."
 
4-      Lack of sufficient awareness and knowledge of specialists of social and psychological sciences (social workers and psychologists) with the religious matters and linking them with daily life, made people  not to trust them or in their role in solving the familial problems.
 

5-      The importance of religious teachings lies greatly in the guidance process to determine the exaggerated reference in the rights and duties of individual and family.

 

6-      Linking the marital institution in terms of the provisions, rights and duties with the religious framework and Islamic law particularly in relation to the personal status laws.
 
Martial institution efficiency

 

Dr. Al-Qasha'n added, Allah the Almighty has sent His Messenger to guide people and protect Sharia purposes. One of these purposes is maintaining the offspring. Islam also has set up the principles and criteria that ensure the efficiency of marital institution and the familial system. The Islamic religion urges the importance of respecting Allah's right in the marital relationship.

In Sunan Ibn Majah this  Hadith was narrated, the Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) said, "The best of you is the one who is best to his own family and I am the best of you towards my family.". This means that the best thing and happiness for those who seek for the happiness of their families because that bring happiness in this world and hereafter. In another hadith narrated by Al-Bukhari in his Saheeh from Abu Hurayrah said that the Prophet (peace be upon him), stressed the importance of the religion as a criterion for selecting successful spouses. The prophet (peace be upon him) said, “A woman is married for four (reasons): her wealth, noble ancestry, beauty and religion, so choose the religious woman lest your hand is stuck to dust (because of destitution).” As the religion comes first and it's the most important criteria for choosing the partner.

 
Care and responsibility
 

Regarding the importance of caring for the family members Dr. Al-Qasha'n added that Islam emphasizes the concern for its members out of care and responsibility, because the Prophet (peace be upon him) insisted this idea in some (Hadiths). Al-Qasha'n indicated that Islam has set up the elements and components of the  Muslim household happiness. Here the Prophet (peace be upon him) describes the happy home saying " the happiness of a son of Adam are three: a  good wife, a good house  and a good means of transport and three makes the son of Adam sad: a bad wife, a bad house and a bad means of transport " . Islam asserts that the wife is the most important elements of the individual happiness in this world.
 
He pointed out that the Prophet (peace be upon him) determined the characteristics of a good wife in Hadith. It was said to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), which of women is best? He said: “The one who makes (her husband) happy when he looks at her, obeys him when he tells her to do something, and when he is away from her, she protects his properties and honor.” This is great prove that religiosity in Islam differs from the other religions. The religious Muslim whether man or woman watches Allah in his/her behavior, thoughts, in one's secret and public affairs.
 

The researcher added that this prophetic guidance came to emphasize the importance of positive behavior and responsible care in enhancing the marital relationship, as there is no family without responsibility and no responsibility without high values ​​achieve marital satisfaction. Islam encourages the husband to serve his family, as it was narrated by Aa’ishah the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to be at his family’s service and when the time for prayer came, he would go out and attend the prayer.”
 
 Refining the behavior

 

Islam does not only refine the Muslims behavior especially in martial life in general, but it tackles more precise details in the daily dealings between the couple as shown in Dr. Al-Qasha'n. Islam emphasizes the importance of good treatment between the spouses and considers it one of the acts of goodness and righteousness. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said  "Whatever you spend will be considered a Sadaqa for you, even the mouthful of food you put in the mouth of your wife." Al-Irbaad Ben Sariya narrated that "if a man waters his wife he will be rewarded." This means the closeness and gentleness with other  partner even in the smallest matters such as a piece of bread or a cup of water, Islam considers it worship and drawing one closer to Allah the Almighty.

 

Considering the human nature

 

The study indicates that Islam opens wide horizons for forgiveness beside asserting to the importance of not tracking pitfalls. It was narrated that Anas said, "I never saw anyone who is merciful upon his children more than the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him). "I swear that the wives of the Prophet (peace be upon him) may debate with him and one of them may abandon him in bed. "This is an evidence that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was turning a blind eye to many trivial matters which could amount to bed abandonment."
The study indicates that this is an evidence that Islam takes into consideration the human nature in the character of each spouses, especially the wife psychological nature in anger. So patience in such situation is a mercy and manhood away from reckless. Islam takes into account the humans innate necessity, makes it within a polite humanitarian framework away from sensuality.

 

The Prophet (peace be upon him ) confirmed upon the lawful sexual enjoyment to achieve the psychological and physical harmony. Therefore, he said, " having sexual intercourse with your wife is a sadaqah. They (the Companions) said: "O Messenger of Allah, is there reward for him who satisfies his sexual passion among us?" He said: "Tell me, if he were to devote it to something forbidden, would it not be a sin on his part? Similarly, if he were to devote it to something lawful, he should have a reward."?
 
Material rights

 
Regarding the family material rights the study has reviewed some material aspects. Narrated by Abu Dawood in his Sunan that Muawiyah Ben Saida asked the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) , saying what's rights of  wife over us? He said: "That he should feed her whenever he eats and cloth her whenever he clothes himself, that he not hit her face, that he not call her ugly and that he not boycott her except within the house."  Ibn Majah."
 
In other narration in Bukhari, the Prophet (peace be upon him said) "If a man spends on his family for Allah's reward, it's sadaqa." Islam has considered the responsibility of the husband to spend upon is the cause of superiority. The superiority of family management from the psychosocial prospect not the  of dominance, exploitation and injustice due to that suppository. On the other Islam bans both spouses to focus on the negatives in the marital relationship. 
 "

These are ethics of martial life in Islam as shown by the study. The study came to confirm that following the Islamic teachings its noble guidance develops the humanity, pleases Allah and a life approach for happiness in this world and the Hereafter.
 


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Ministry of Awqaf & Islamic Affairs - State of Kuwait